CREATING A WISH LIST

In this exercise, you will each individually make a Wish List of things you would like more or less of in your relationship. Next, take turns sharing your Wish Lists with each other.

Assertiveness is the ability to express your feelings and ask for what you want in your relationship.

Active listening is the ability to let your partner know you understand them by restating their message.

In sharing your Wish List with your partner, you will be demonstrating your Assertiveness skills. In giving feedback to your partner about their Wish List, you will be demonstrating your Active Listening skills. Make a Wish List of three things you would like more or less of in your relationship.

1. _______________________________________________________________________________________________

2. _______________________________________________________________________________________________

3. _______________________________________________________________________________________________

SHARING YOUR WISH LIST

Take turns sharing your Wish List with each other, keeping in mind the following:

• Speaker’s Job:

– Speak for yourself (“I” statements e.g. ”I wish…”).

– Describe how you would feel if your wish came true.

• Listener’s Job:- Repeat/summarize what you have heard.

– Describe the wish AND how your partner would feel if the wish came true.

COUPLE DISCUSSION

After completing the Wish List Exercise, discuss the following questions:

• How good were each of you at being assertive?

• In what ways did you each effectively use active listening skills?